The Irrefutable Laws of Computer Project Doomdom

I always have been a collector of humor related to computers. This funny list came to me from someplace on the Internet, designed to have the look and feel of the famous “Murphy’s Law”. I have found much of this to be true.

Contact me today on (201) 796-7967 and perhaps we can avoid some of these pitfalls.

Law #1: No major computer project is ever installed on time, within budget, with the same staff that started it, nor does the project do what it is supposed to do.

Corollary 1: The benefits will be smaller than initially estimated, if estimates were made at all.

Corollary 2: The system finally installed will be installed late and won’t do what it is supposed to do.

Corollary 3: It will cost more but it will be technically successful.

Law #2: One advantage of fuzzy project objectives is that they let you avoid embarrassment in estimating the corresponding costs.

Law #3: The effort required to correct your course of action increases geometrically with time.

Law #4: Purposes as understood by the proposer will be seen differently by everyone else.

Law #5: Only measurable benefits are real. Intangible benefits are not measurable. Therefore intangible benefits are not real.

Law #6: Anyone who can work effectively on a project part-time certainly doesn’t have enough to do now.

Law #7: The greater the Project’s technical complexity, the less you need a technician to manage it.

Law #8: A carelessly planned project will take three times longer to complete than expected. A carefully planned project will only take twice as long.

Law #9: If anything can go wrong, it will.

MacGillicuddy’s Corollary: At the most inopportune time.

Extension: it will be your entire fault, and everyone will know it.

Law #10: When things are going well, something will go wrong.

Law #11: Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.

Law #12: Projects progress quickly until they are 90 percent complete, and then they remain 90 percent complete forever.

Law #13: If project scope is allowed to change freely, the rate of change will exceed the rate of progress.

Law #14: If the user does not believe in the system, he will develop a parallel system…neither system will work very well.

Law #15: Benefits achieved are a function of the thoroughness of the post-audit check.